Archive for April, 2012

Attention All HostBluff Customers, As many of you have noticed, we have officially launched our new VPS Hosting Plans. I would like to take a minute to explain how we are continuing to innovate rather then using an existing and stable platform.   Our first layer of virtualization is a ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We were alerted to the launch of Google Drive, which seriously hurts one of our upcoming product launches "HostBluff Floppy". HostBluff Floppy was engineered to give you your own 1.2 MB of Cloud Storage on our unsecured servers for $89.99 per month. Obviously we cant compete with Google Drives offer so we are killing this project and releasing the ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers, We have seen Network Alerts indicating that all of our servers came back online 10 minutes ago (9:30 AM) and are now responding to connections. We are not yet sure how this is possible as we have physically removed the power supplies from all of the servers and replaced them with old broken toasters with knives jammed ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers, I am often approached by customers asking if they can refer potential customers to our services so their poor friends and family members can witness the same cruelty that we treat all of our customers with. After much thought, we decided to launch our new affiliate program. Using the HostBluff Affiliate Program, you can share our crap with the people ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers, We are excited that our former CEO has just been promoted to Dictator of HostBluff. This will ensure that he has the power to continue to rule over the HostBluff inmates with an iron fist. Derrick has implemented a few new policies that all customers should be aware of; Snipers at all Doors - Due to the rise ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers, We are happy to report that we have found a new way to save an extra $4.00 per month by switching to a lower quality of kibble to feed our support teams. This has allowed us to lower the prices of several of our hosting plans.

Attention all HostBluff Customers, We have just gotten off of the telephone with the owners of http://shamelesshosts.com/, they report that they will be featuring us on their webpage if we dont remove our new SEO Hosting Plans. They stated that they are issuing a warning to ALL SEO hosts that they will be featured if they continue to scam their ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers. Due to inhumane working and living conditions, the average life expectancy of our support techs is surprisingly low. We are in dire need of new support techs to man our helpdesk. If you are a parent or couple and wish to donate your son/daughter or wife to HostBluff, we will host you free for LIFE (of ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers. About an hour ago, I unlocked the doors to our support desk cell and noticed that everyone was missing. I sounded the perimeter alarm and released the hounds. There is a strange smell in the air. Update 2:32 PM - One of our guards reported that all of the vending machines have been broken into and robbed of ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers/Visitors and Prisoners. Are you a happy reader of HostBluff and want to feature your own complaint on our customer reviews page? If so, please get in contact with us at ceo @ hostbluff.com to reserve your spot and for more details. Reviews Complaints must be done in a Video Format and must include the reason why ...