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Derrick Smith promoted to Dictator of HostBluff

Attention all HostBluff Customers,
We are excited that our former CEO has just been promoted to Dictator of HostBluff. This will ensure that he has the power to continue to rule over the HostBluff inmates with an iron fist. Derrick has implemented a few new policies that all customers should be aware of;

  • Snipers at all Doors – Due to the rise in inmate escapes and protests by customers, snipers will be placed in strategic locations on the HostBluff island to deal with any threats from a minimum of 500 yards
  • Colocation Plans – You will soon be able to colocate your stuff in our Data Center. We dont care what it is as long as it does not require external power. This includes such things as Teddy Bears, Tortillas and Fresh Fish, S&M Bondage Equipment.

In a statement made to reporters, Dictator Smith can be quoted saying “I will no longer stand for insolence and support desk revolts. They were imprisoned here to answer customer tickets and thats all they are good for.”

3 Responses to “Derrick Smith promoted to Dictator of HostBluff”

  1. Prisoner Employee #226 (Keith Meyers)

    Help us, please! They have my daughter and wife. Please, help!

    April 23rd, 2012 Reply
    • admin

      Whoever posted this, HAHA, I am afraid you spelled his last wrong (yet you got the inmate ID correct)

      April 23rd, 2012 Reply
  2. Prisoner Employee #456

    Help me please!!! They are starving us to death 🙁

    April 25th, 2012 Reply