Author Archive

Attention All HostBluff Customers, As you may have noticed, Twitter has been down for several hours. While it has not been officially announced, Twitter has indeed moved its infrastructure to HostBluff.com. This strategic move allows Twitter to save tens of thousands of dollars per day in Bandwidth Fees as none of our servers are ever online. Twitter is actually the first customer to ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers, As most of you already know, we are fully dedicated to making your hosting experiences with HostBluff as miserable as possible by providing all customers with world class downtime and frustration. In effort to usher in the next generation "SRU" (Super Redundantly Unreliable) Hosting Infrastructure, we will need to downgrade our production servers from iOS5 to Windows 8 RT. This change ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are saddened to report that we suffered a major data breach on our network. It appears the names and shoe sizes of all of our customers have been leaked to the public. If you were impacted by this breach, we advise you change your shoe sizes immediately.

Attention all HostBluff Customers, This morning we were shocked to see that we have lost more customers. According to our research, they appear to have gone to VPS.net. We reached out to the irate customers and interrogated them to ask why they left, they provided us with the following answers; HostBluff does not run a real cloud server, VPS.net does We need ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, As we are an offshore hosting provider, we are often asked what we do if there is a flood. The short answer is we use Kids as flotation devices. They are normally lightweight and dont each much making them the most economical solution for life saving operations.

Attention All Readers, I would like to officially announce that HostBluff now fully opposes CISPA for the following reasons; CISPA would require us to store and retain data, This us currently a limitation of our Black Hole File System as it looses data within 5 minutes of content being stored HostBluff only sells data to advertising agencies in order to spam our customers with ads for Viagra, ...

Attention All HostBluff Readers, We have finally gotten off of our fat @$$es and updated our FAQs - http://hostbluff.com/faq/

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are both sad and happy to report that we have lost several customers to HostMist.com. We are happy as these are the customers that kept complaining that their servers are down... what did they expect??? uptime??? Yeh Right! Of course we always hate loosing our victims revenue, so we will be donating one of our ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, In the next few weeks we will be introducing several new hidden fees to our hosting plans. This is to pay for one of our new directors to get an operation to "piss money". These fees will involve charging customers extra for downtime. We literally want to be able to toss money around our workstations for no reason at ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, Due to the constant threat of FTP based attacks, we are shutting down FTP access to all of our servers. From this point on, you will now need to follow the instructions below to upload new files to your hosting account 1) Save everything to 1 or more 5 1/4 inch floppy disk drives 2) Insert into padded envelope 3) ...