Archive for May, 2012

Are you an aspiring entrepreneur who lacks motivation, resources and expects everything to be done for them? If so the HostBluff Internship is for you. After a brutal and horrific 3 week training course, we will partner you up with another unmotivated established host that you can plunder and pillage for your personal gain. If you are interested, please post in ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, I am pleased to announce that HostBluff.com has been issued its first US Patent - 8675309, "the ability to use letters and spaces to make words". As such, we are going to start suing the following companies for allowing the transmission of useless content over the internet; Horses ALL Government Websites RIM (BBM) Yahoo Twitter Facebook MySpace All Dating Websites Fox AOL Apple GoDaddy We ask that if you own any of ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are pleased to report that we recently hosted an interview with the Dateline News Crew about the working conditions of HostBluff. The Dateline producers were kind enough to supply us with a pre-release copy of the story they intend to publish.

Attention All HostBluff Customers, Due to corrupt politicians in the US and UK, we have placed firewall rules in place to block all of those countries. Currently only residents of Zambia and New Zealand will be able to access customer facing websites. We are sorry for any issues this may cause but its for the best. We are also issuing tin-foil hats ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, At 5:00 this afternoon, we noticed that 3 servers are missing from our DataCenter. Upon investigation of our security footage, 4 Nuns bypassed our front desk by claiming that they were here to bless our servers. While this is not abnormal we did notice that they somehow got 4 of our guards to help carry out the ...

Attention All HostBluff Readers, At HostBluff, our labs are normally busy with several experiments including the effects of starvation on prisoners. Today we would like to introduce all members to a lesser known experiment that is code named Project BARK. Project BARK was an internally developed intelligent forum posting bot that uses another internally developed protocol known as the KEITH Protocol. The KEITH Protocol (also known ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, Through careful research we have learned that one of the largest sources of public corruption is in the US stock market. People are getting richer at the cost of making other people poorer. We have determined that this perfectly matches the culture of HostBluff. Effective immediately, HostBluff is pleased to announce that we have officially filed for ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are saddened to report that a flock of geese was let loose and was found to be pooping everywhere causing uptime to one of racks. They appear to have made a nest in the Core Router (a single China-Town Cisco 6513 with only one card slot occupied). It appears that bird droppings are somewhat conductive and ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are appending our missing terms of Service Document to include the following clause; All websites that are hosted on the HostBluff Network should refrain from using no more then 2 colors on all web pages, images, documents and banner ads. These 2 colors are Black and White. If any website owner is found to be violating this ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, In our lab tests, we have determined that Windows ME was simply too stable to meet our needs, we have made the strategic decision to migrate our entire Hosting Cluster to iOS5. iOS5 embraces the prison-like mindset of HostBluff.com by implementing useless restrictions in the name of security and pointless crashes. As part of our migration, our control panel will be revamped, please see ...