Author Archive

Attention All Inmates, HostBluff has completed the migration all all customers to our new Offshore Datacenter. You are now permitted to host all of your illegal unicorn porn, nulled software and anything else that would otherwise end up putting you in jail.   Attention All Hackers, Please only use the backdoors that you put into the nulled software between midnight and 1:11 AM. We ...

Attention All HostBluff Clients, Effective Next Week, we will be launching our new Cloud Based Super Master Delta Alpha Reseller Hosting Plans. All of these plans will feature; Unlimited Disk Space Unlimited Bandwidth Unlimited Databases Unlimited Email accounts Unlimited Sub Clients Unlimited Downtime Unlimited Class  B2 Bomber IP Addresses Unlimited Frustration HostBluff has built our new cloud architecture system to offer unparalleled industry downtime at a whole 100% monthly average. ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are pleased to report that we have launched our updated line of SEO Hosting Plans to the general public. Our SEO Hosting plans can be used to build fake backlink sites to help promote your useless content that people dont want to read anyways. We can personally guarantee that your placement on Google will drop faster then Facebook ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers, In line with Apple, we have now added 1080 p Retina Displays to all of our servers. Fortunately they still have the same unreliable hardware inside that you have all grown to expect from HostBluff. Existing customers will not need to make any code changes to their existing sites as the servers will still remain powered off ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We will be performing a scheduled maintenance to our primary server cluster at Midnight Tonight. Our servers may appear online for a period of up to 22 hours. We will do our best to minimize the uptime. Thank you for your understanding.

Are you an aspiring entrepreneur who lacks motivation, resources and expects everything to be done for them? If so the HostBluff Internship is for you. After a brutal and horrific 3 week training course, we will partner you up with another unmotivated established host that you can plunder and pillage for your personal gain. If you are interested, please post in ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, I am pleased to announce that HostBluff.com has been issued its first US Patent - 8675309, "the ability to use letters and spaces to make words". As such, we are going to start suing the following companies for allowing the transmission of useless content over the internet; Horses ALL Government Websites RIM (BBM) Yahoo Twitter Facebook MySpace All Dating Websites Fox AOL Apple GoDaddy We ask that if you own any of ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are pleased to report that we recently hosted an interview with the Dateline News Crew about the working conditions of HostBluff. The Dateline producers were kind enough to supply us with a pre-release copy of the story they intend to publish.

Attention All HostBluff Customers, Due to corrupt politicians in the US and UK, we have placed firewall rules in place to block all of those countries. Currently only residents of Zambia and New Zealand will be able to access customer facing websites. We are sorry for any issues this may cause but its for the best. We are also issuing tin-foil hats ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, At 5:00 this afternoon, we noticed that 3 servers are missing from our DataCenter. Upon investigation of our security footage, 4 Nuns bypassed our front desk by claiming that they were here to bless our servers. While this is not abnormal we did notice that they somehow got 4 of our guards to help carry out the ...