Author Archive

Attention All HostBluff Readers, At HostBluff, our labs are normally busy with several experiments including the effects of starvation on prisoners. Today we would like to introduce all members to a lesser known experiment that is code named Project BARK. Project BARK was an internally developed intelligent forum posting bot that uses another internally developed protocol known as the KEITH Protocol. The KEITH Protocol (also known ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, Through careful research we have learned that one of the largest sources of public corruption is in the US stock market. People are getting richer at the cost of making other people poorer. We have determined that this perfectly matches the culture of HostBluff. Effective immediately, HostBluff is pleased to announce that we have officially filed for ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are saddened to report that a flock of geese was let loose and was found to be pooping everywhere causing uptime to one of racks. They appear to have made a nest in the Core Router (a single China-Town Cisco 6513 with only one card slot occupied). It appears that bird droppings are somewhat conductive and ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are appending our missing terms of Service Document to include the following clause; All websites that are hosted on the HostBluff Network should refrain from using no more then 2 colors on all web pages, images, documents and banner ads. These 2 colors are Black and White. If any website owner is found to be violating this ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, In our lab tests, we have determined that Windows ME was simply too stable to meet our needs, we have made the strategic decision to migrate our entire Hosting Cluster to iOS5. iOS5 embraces the prison-like mindset of HostBluff.com by implementing useless restrictions in the name of security and pointless crashes. As part of our migration, our control panel will be revamped, please see ...

Attention All HostBluff Readers, We have listened to your feedback and decided to implement the easiest request so you guys dont think we sit around doing nothing. Its official, we have opened the HostBluff Forum. The forum is divided into 3 sections; General - This is a general venting area, almost anything goes here HostBluff Horror Stories - Feel free to come up with your own creative complaints. They could ...

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We have officially launched our Reseller Program which will allow all customers to resell our services as their own. There are several features that make our reseller program unique. End User Support - We will provide your customers with the same level of support that you get from HostBluff. This includes our witty pick-up lines and random insults. Please keep ...

Attention all HostBluff Customers, Our Crime Scene Investigation Team has been alerted to a strange smell coming from behind one of the server racks. They are currently looking into the matter however the details are sketchy. I will update this post with more details. We have attempted to reach out to Derrick but he is still not able to be located.

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We seem to have temporally lost track of our Dictator and CEO Derrick Smith. His car still appears to be in the parking lot as if he did not leave last night. We have our Guards looking for him now. I will report back with more details.     Keith Myers Director of Customer Complaints.