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Archive for May, 2012

In Case of Emergencies, Your Kids may be used for Flotation

Attention All HostBluff Customers, As we are an offshore hosting provider, we are often asked what we do if there is a flood. The short answer is we use Kids as flotation devices. They are normally lightweight and dont each much making them the most economical solution for life saving operations.

HostBluff Forums Now Open

Attention All HostBluff Readers, We have listened to your feedback and decided to implement the easiest request so you guys dont think we sit around doing nothing. Its official, we have opened the HostBluff Forum. The forum is divided into 3 sections; General - This is a general venting area, almost anything goes here HostBluff Horror Stories - Feel free to come up with your own creative complaints. They could ...

HostBluff Opposes CISPA

Attention All Readers, I would like to officially announce that HostBluff now fully opposes CISPA for the following reasons; CISPA would require us to store and retain data, This us currently a limitation of our Black Hole File System as it looses data within 5 minutes of content being stored HostBluff only sells data to advertising agencies in order to spam our customers with ads for Viagra, ...

FAQ Page Updated

Attention All HostBluff Readers, We have finally gotten off of our fat @$$es and updated our FAQs -

HostBluff Looses 12 more customers to

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We are both sad and happy to report that we have lost several customers to We are happy as these are the customers that kept complaining that their servers are down... what did they expect??? uptime??? Yeh Right! Of course we always hate loosing our victims revenue, so we will be donating one of our ...

HostBluff – New Charges Coming Soon

Attention All HostBluff Customers, In the next few weeks we will be introducing several new hidden fees to our hosting plans. This is to pay for one of our new directors to get an operation to "piss money". These fees will involve charging customers extra for downtime. We literally want to be able to toss money around our workstations for no reason at ...

HostBluff Disables FTP Access

Attention All HostBluff Customers, Due to the constant threat of FTP based attacks, we are shutting down FTP access to all of our servers. From this point on, you will now need to follow the instructions below to upload new files to your hosting account 1) Save everything to 1 or more 5 1/4 inch floppy disk drives 2) Insert into padded envelope 3) ...

HostBluff Friendship Builder Program

Attention All HostBluff Customers, I would like to announce our new Dating Service known as Friendship Builder. We have hired a team of private investigators to search through all members web files, facebook profiles, twitter feeds and credit card statements in order to match you with another HostBluff customer. Our first successful match is between Kevin and Janet.   Kevin Married Male 23 years old Last 5 credit card ...

Maintenance Alert : The Cats are being put down

Attention All HostBluff Customers, We will be removing all cats from our datacenter, support desk and those running around the site this Wednesday.

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