Attention all HostBluff customers. This morning we were alerted to approximately 96 minutes of unplanned uptime between 9:01 AM and 10:71 AM. Upon receiving the network alert, we located our network engineer in the nearest brothel and ordered him to unplug the servers yet again. A full Root Cause Analysis (RCA) is being put together and we hope to have it published before the Chinese New Years. Our lead problem manager is under the assumption that the datacenter keeps plugging our servers back in, even when we tell them not to. . We know that you expect perfection from HostBluff and will will do our best to re-earn your trust (so we can get your new credit card numbers).