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Outage Alert : is online due to Astroglide Spill [RESOLVED]

Attention All HostBluff Customers,

We are aware that has been put online 24 minutes ago. Upon an investigation by our tech, it appears that some Astroglide Personal Lubricant was smeared all over the server. We have spoken to the only 2 staff members who were in the Datacenter (Zach and Jacob) who appear to also be surprised by our findings. We have unplugged the server and will be burning it later this afternoon as it smells of shame.

5 Responses to “Outage Alert : is online due to Astroglide Spill [RESOLVED]”

  1. Security Officer #007 - James Daniels

    After reviewing the security logs, it looks like an employee #495 – Zach C. Nelson attempted to make love with the server. After sodomizing himself with the power cord, all security personnel had to turn away, because it was just that gross. Anyone interested in viewing the logs should seek immediate medical attention.

    April 30th, 2012 Reply
    • admin

      Sir, you are one sick nutcase

      April 30th, 2012 Reply
  2. HostBluff Employee #495 Zach C. Nelson

    I just had an orgasim. Sexy. Server. Can. Not. Resist.

    April 30th, 2012 Reply
  3. Baconator

    LMFAO! You can never have too much Astroglide.

    April 30th, 2012 Reply
  4. ZCN

    I can confirm that the machine accidentally was put online today. After generous applications of astroglide, a HB ritual, a tech was violently thrusted towards a server. This overly abundant manly thrust from behind caused someone (not naming names) to slide forward, and in a last resort effort to catch himself from falling a server was accidentally switched on. causing this unforseen uptime.

    May 1st, 2012 Reply