Attention All HostBluff Customers,

We were just alerted to possible uptime on Server 23. Our Network Operations Team is looking for an engineer to shut the server back down.

Update 9:23 AM – Our network engineer has been located, he was passed out in a ditch after a long night of drinking. He is in route to our datacenter to shut down the server.

Update 9:32 AM – Our engineer reports the server was indeed online and is baffled to see the server online without any power cables being ran to it. A priest is being called in to perform an exorcism on the server today. The server has been powered off and locked in a closet until the priest gets into the datacenter.

Update 10:54 AM – The priest has concluded the exorcism on the server. He reports that the server appears to have been possessed by  our former Director of Customer Service who is still mad about not getting his last pay check.