Archive for April, 2012

Attention all HostBluff customers. As many of you know, we have seen a high number of unplanned uptime incidents over the past few weeks. We listened to your tickets that state "finally" and "its about time my site is online" and we are commuted to finding a solution. Effective immediately, all of our support specialists will be required to wear ...

Attention all HostBluff customers. We are in talks with the Endurance International Group for a potential purchase. Endurance International Group is well known for providing low quality hosting services to their clients under brands such as FatCow hosting. We cant wait to see how this works our clients. Update 1:52 PM - Unfortunately it turns out that EIG is too evil, even ...

Attention all HostBluff customers. We are proud to announce that we are having a business development with the owner of HostRail.com, the well known Constantinos Coudounaris. Constantinos will be providing us with a wealth of knowledge specifically in scamming customers out of money, attacking competitors, destroying user content and running a business into the ground. Constantinos did ask us to ...

HostBluff is upset to report that we have just lost 7 more of our ShoutCast customers to TheHosted.com, honestly I dont blame them because our ShoutCast services suck, are barely online and have this annoying echo that we intentionally insert into all audio feeds. I also am pretty sure that they actually do background checks on their support as ...

Attention all HostBluff customers. We had an incident happen over the weekend where a tree hugging customer felt sorry for the working conditions of our support desk. This customer decided to bring our starving techs food. We have not seen her since but have located her necklace and earrings. We are reviewing the surveillance tapes to see if she escaped.

Attention all HostBluff customers. For no reason at all, we have decided to change the control panel that you all know and love from cPannell to Plank 1.2. This means that all of the hard work that you have done to integrate your scripts with our control panel was officially a waste. This new control panel offers 33.2% of the ...

Hello all HostBluff customers. As many of you know, we have officially been open for 2 weeks and have some exciting news to share with all of our victims; HostBluff has been visited by over 700 unique visitors in the past 2 weeks but only 400 of you clicked the order page... WTF to the rest of you, we need to ...

Friday the 13th is a special day at HostBluff. Every Friday the 13th, our server administrators turn into blood sucking beasts who start deleting random files from your websites. .

Attention all HostBluff customers. This morning we were alerted to approximately 96 minutes of unplanned uptime between 9:01 AM and 10:71 AM. Upon receiving the network alert, we located our network engineer in the nearest brothel and ordered him to unplug the servers yet again. A full Root Cause Analysis (RCA) is being put together and we hope to have ...

HostBluff is upset to report that we have just lost 3 more customers to UrPad.net, honestly I dont blame them because our services suck and they actually do background checks on their support. If you are thinking about moving to UrPad.net please remember that they dont provide Fishsticks.